I am 21 now, but from the moment I was thirteen, I found I had a very loud and unpleasant voice, because of which people around me always tried to shun. Since then I decided I should write as I have no other way of speaking, other than with my words, uninterrupted.
When I am cold, I am unbelievably hard and unmovable in my hatred that nothing can change my mind about it. On the other hand is I do not hate anything, until the very last point of forbearance and moral allowances. I love peace, beauty and balance. I try to love my life as I go ahead into it. I could better without a few people from my past who keep cropping up to ruin my present…
I am 21, standing ready on the threshold of my adult life, waiting for someone to just take my hand and pull me through. But it is as though I am born with some incurable curse that whoever it may be, I happen to start trusting in as a friend or well wisher, separately, unknown to me, also starts falling back on me, back-stabs me, ignores me leaving me to blame myself. Whoever I like, is also far out of my reach, (not the celebrity crushes) I mean socially unacceptable situations, well not exactly, since those stay crushes, and never reciprocated.
I’ve had an over simple childhood. And then the instant I was a teenager I was gifted with a super-duper over-complicated life. But inside my heart it’s one simple word, that keeps me going and that power is me. I know myself and that strongest I am when I’m being me.
Put the world aside, and at this socially small age, I have set out on my journey. I write books, I like to dream and write about artful life, fantasy, things we all wish to find our lives to one day attain. Perfection. I know I’m little out of luck right now, but soon my books will be out for general public. Then I hope I’ll have some of my peace. But then I’ll always be me.
I love you MyLutz,
Hoping and waiting, Virginia