Random verses all written in a day.

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When separate eyes meet in a crowded city square,

Over exploits of their humanity, and time, once and again–

They know they were meant to stay together,

Because they were met by a chance of eternity,

To be lost again, and again.

***

I walk through a dark corridor,

The air hungover with muck and gloom.

The door of the forbidden room stands tall

Like the brooding death of innocence.

I’ve arrived the point where it appears clear,

I’m just trying to kill a love I’ve given up believing.

But the stark darkness stuns the virginity in me,

Which is eager, very eager to take me,

Someplace else…

***

Those roads will be difficult to walk on, now alone.

The sand pebbles and germs, and the whirlpools of air

Which like separate worlds, have flourished to life

From the touch of our feet last trodden.

Preserving our childhoods, and pearls of sweet labor lost-

How dare I violate the sacred order of the worlds,

Which, if, might be conspiring to bring our feet together?

Which, if not, how can I disturb the ghost world,

Where in spirals of dust, our ghost selves would dance?

You will apologize to me, I know, you will. One day.

You know, I deserve one, for what I will have to go through…

The trauma of never being at home, while at home.

 

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Finite Hearts

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The stars were once plucked from the ashen grey skies.

They shine on lips now, and in eyes which cannot cry.

The sheen of all the silken dresses was extracted, and torn apart.

Making the poison that flows in the waters to mix in the dirt.

Every heart has slept, every bedside lamp extinguished.

It’ll be just one last time, that we would get to dance…

The paper fire’s shriveling up in the dusty grate,

We’re burning up our old love letters to warm us tonight.

Come on, baby, dance with me, this’s that one last time,

When it’s time to bid goodbyes for good and smile.

History ends tonight, civilization will die with the ghost of us,

Tonight there will be no words, just two couples of teary eyes.

And we dance, silently, until we fall, of exhaustion.

Two finite hearts finally, slowly dying in each other’s arms.

Six Months Ago

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Running around,
Screaming around <in my head>
With no questions to ask,
And all pain and guilt.

<Six months ago> You made me wipe away my tears,
<Six months ago> You had me smiling again,
<Six months ago> You had me listening to metal!
<Six months ago> You taught me to love…oo oo ooooo….

Love, love, love, <love, love, love, love, love>
Some mystery it is. <How it happened>
You’d know it all better. <Sure you do>
It’s easy to mistake,
But then it never is.

<Six months ago> It all changed.
<Six months ago> You changed it for me.
<Six months ago> You, you, you happened.
<Six months ago> And your cycle became my eternity.

Words, little words, ran out of mind. <my my, my, my, my>
Some mystery that is. <How it happened>
You’d know it all better. <Sure you do>
It’s easy to mistake.
But then is it?

I plead guilty, <I am I know>
But like all crimes, punish me. <Oh, don’t leave me alone>
You cut me off, like I’m made of paper.
You turned away, like it’ll undo the last six months.

<Six months ago> You spoke a spell, <or something like that>
<Six months ago> If you’d remember, we had something to fight for.
<Six months ago> Six months have passed, and it’s just hurting now.
<Six months ago> You killed us but then there’s the ghost of our laughter…

Taunting through the day and haunting the nights,
You’re out there, soaring up on sunny beaches,
With the tides and the sun, while in silence life leaks outta me,
Caught in the perpetual ice storm, you and life conspired to put me in.

<Six months ago> I wished to die, and fade,
<Six months ago> What I feel now.
<Six months ago> You came in and that changed.
<Six months ago> Now you’re gone and won’t come back again.

All I wanna apologize for is,
I really do miss you.
Baby, you were all the good things,
I believe life ever had to offer me, that I will miss.

Moving Nowhere

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Chaos it is when I give it a thought,

As to where we’re headed, that fate has wrought.

Peace that I feel in they words’ embrace,

To think, it grieves me, our love for thee is just thy vehemence!

 

Delirious, moonstruck, blinded by desire,

I feel sacrilegious, accompanying thee,on this godless voyage.

Damned we are, condemned by fate to live in doom forever,

Infernal is the wait, to find that horizon, to bring us back to mortal age.
But the sun is not setting and the endless main of waters, ceaseless ahead–

What scares me is that, I don’t see a wish either, a wish strong enough,

Since the wheel is in thy hands and I’m just a guest on thy anchored barge.

But the sun is not setting and the sea is dead, no winds for the lifeless sails don’t bluff.

 

Moving nowhere, standing still in the ocean of utter desolation, scares me.

We’re trapped in this nightmarish reality, I have no luxury of waking up.

Maybe I don’t want to wake up, I love thee for all I know.

I can’t shatter all those cherished dreams for this one nightmare.

 

Knowing I have nothing to wake up to, except the fact,

To learn which, will shatter me across the ocean.

Knowing our love was just my imagination I indulged in,

Wishing and crying for slumber to murder my obsession.

Questions I have no answers for

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It aches, the sore at the centre of my being,

It happened last night when the red haze clouded

The last bits of my shredded sense of morale,

Which let desperation slowly creep into my vacant heart,

Which once stood tall and brave and strong,

With paradise around in full bloom.

But that was eons ago, and since then, many angels have fallen.

I am a mere mortal, and now I stand like a thunderstruck tree,

Stripped all of the divine grace that caused my heart to glow differently…

The same eyes unlike before, the pride, the life, the zest have forsaken,

The skin though young and intact seems wounded by a thousand cuts,

And wrinkles and burns, as if the flesh emanates and vaporizes like guilt.

It’s a tug of war, between my left and right, truths and lies

I chose fantasy from beautiful lies over satisfaction from ugly truths,

That arouse disgust, I was shunned then in the name of impracticality.

And now I am one of them, which bows me down with regret and shame.

My sore, wounded core reminds me of my shredded insides.

That broken pride in me, disdainfully questions me from the dirty mirror,

That why, why why I broke down under that little arch of wishes unfulfilled?

That of all people in the world, I lost my virginity to me…

It will rain and it will rain ♥

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The air simmers, blisters. Induced hallucinations.

The cracked open mouth of wounded earth,

Seeped with blood red and covered with rust.

Centuries and eons of memories clouded by dust.

 

The fragile lines were breached once long ago,

The tempest had once rushed into my shore.

It’s been long and time has swept away the resort

The floods and waves of tide haunted me to drown.

 

Then the sea is just a embittered memory,

And it was a heap of sand I’d leapt into. Not death.

See, the passion had been sung well to drone.

To arise and laugh back, when mirages mock.

 

It’s been long I’ve lived scared to scraps and bolts.

It, the post traumatic stress disorder in me craving blood.

But I’m ready to go all out again, for surfing in the sea of love.

And she has to come out too, the madwoman locked in my head…

 

The fighter in me. The rebel. The poet. The lover.

The unchained philosopher, her storm unleashed.

Night has finally settled bets with daylight

There right there, fate’s let my midnight sun dawn.

 

Now again the tempest blows ashore, from the east.

The distant roars of the hungry cranky clouds resound

After flashes of desire reflecting his heart and mine.

After a long time I know, it will rain and it will rain.

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Prologue of “The Return of the Forsaken”

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I have spent countless restless nights, waiting, waiting, wishing for the end of the world. Wishing however is not the right word for it, since the word doesn’t cover it, aptly enough, the sensation, the burning desire that has consumed the best parts of me with it, over the centuries (or should I say millennia?)…Hell, it seems I do have lost my count after all! Worthless, futile has been this life, I know, I shouldn’t be allowed to live this life. I shouldn’t exist! Reduced to this weakling, I await death to come personally to drag me to hell, if there exists one, and yet, the wait is endless…

Am I dead? Can’t be, I am talking…but who is hearing? Someone definitely is…otherwise how would you all know about my personal rumblings? Am I alive? I don’t feel so…I have been hiding from all the world, people who are the off-springs of my own bloodline, in darkness, in shadows, I have been creeping around like the monster I am, watching my people die – in my own hands, some passing with time as well, perishing in bodies, fading in names… Watching changes everywhere, new lives, new faces, all the while I remained as I was. A stone. Harder than granite, I cannot fade. I cannot die. Yet nobody remembers me.

I am a monster, yes, I am. Suffering a fate, I’d myself brought upon me, cursed for all of eternity. I’ve just dragged on…without any family left, no friends either – just time and darkness, who’ve kept me company. But, I’ve had plenty of them. I have spent eons in my wait for the end, but fate doesn’t allow it. I have sinned, I deserve to be damned.

No, I deserve to be damned.

The Journey back Home

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I’ll be that bird, sailing across the sky and into the Dusk.

The flecks of red won’t distract me; the color of blood and rust.

Darkness is beautiful, resonating peace for me.

To you, love, will I be return; strong and sure, my wings,

My spirit exhausted, from the violence I’ve witnessed.

Take me in your arms, in your warmth.

Heal me, time and again. Numb the pain.

And let me melt in your arms.
 
♥ ♥ ♥

 

Wish

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Dream of starry nights, on a fresh lawn,

You’ll wake up to a dampened dawn.

Wishing for love, friends and shooting stars,

Hurt you’ll be, never think they’re made for thee.

 

Dream, dream, within your gilded soul,

Sweet princess, so alien within this world.

Where nothing can touch you,

With a feather, nor ever a sword.

 

Within your spirit, you live, you rule,

You create, wonderful worlds.

You live for a greater cause.

Others just don’t get there.

The Healer. The Seer.

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You were like October’s rain, rinsing away the ravages of Juno’s mayhem.
The last embers of a hissing fire, was extinguished with your shower.
With every step you took toward me, you made the crickets in the thicket fade away.
The something that used to corrode my insides, I was finally ready to give up.

Exhausted and lost, gasping for water, I had collapsed.
Hallucinating, probably, dazed I was, fatally close to the point of incinerating myself.
Though not a waterbearer, you shot an arrow from your quiver,
Through the rocks under my feet.

At your grace, upon your mercy, it was spring in mid October,
There sprang a stream, bubbling and splashing, abundant in plentitude.
But I did not lean down to quench my thirst;
Since there was Old Narcissus’ sad tale to note.

Then, passing away, seeing another in distress, you galloped away.
To quench someone else’s lips, to heal another set of broken wings.
You didn’t even turn back once, to see your magic peeling off undone…
That I am left alone again, left to go back to my October in mayhem.

uncouth

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dirty scoundrels sweeping the alley,

infect the night, like blood bugs buzz.

uncouth men, sitting in their windblown, spa-like cars,

through drooping eyelashes, hawk for a girl to pass.

dainty filles in airy curls, Versaces and Ralph Laurens,

with Mochi stillettoes flirt with wine and ash.

the guards are two, spatting with one another,

about who’d demand for the bribe–

from a late night venturer.

the pubs are all about to close,

the hour which depletes their barrels,

of such pricey, heavenly liquor.

cars begin to wheel out

with their heavily drugged owners.

and their long forgotten humanities,

well, the flat drunks leave, but the rest prowl,

in search of new robes, to tear,

for the thrill of the screeching,

throbbing flesh to resist their advances.

and to smother the mouth to silence,

with puke-worth kisses. Done.

_______________________________________________

as the alley darkens, let the dogs wake up.

I bleeding heart you

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I’ve been crying out really loud. Nobody hears it.

They think it’s probably the storm.

Maybe some of it’s going on,

In my head. Ravaging.

Gorging. Caving.

It showers.

I love the rain,

It cries with me……

Watching the wet clothes,

Falls slack, sticking to my skin,

I almost double over with fresh tears.

I remember I am a human. Like everyone else,

I get to keep my pride, my self. Not put up with someone,

Who demeans my rights, my own, who-am-I ideas, my personality.

I am not invisible. Clothes wouldn’t stick to me otherwise.

Winds blow stronger, in an attempt to undress me,

The kind of violence I’ve always fantasized,

For a special someone to use with me.

The one who’d never cared for me,

I cry for him, but I vow…no can’t do it;

I don’t want to see him cry. Never. Not even a little bit.

Just a wish, maybe a fantasy, I would very much like to see the sky raining blood.

With me.

WILL DAWN COME?

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The wind is rippling softly in the nigh,

Clouds have hidden the moon up high,

Lost are the desire of love and lust,

And there are the shadows from my bygone past…

Creeping and crawling under my skin,

I can’t free myself from the bond that binds me akin…

Fleeting through the ages, my shaken heart rewinds,

The gone is gone, that’s how the quest had gone.

I don’t have it in me, another bloody fight.

While reason threatens to tear me apart.

Lost are the desires of facing the gone,

That the darkness will pass and it’ll be dawn.

Airy Dreams

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I share a different bond with air.
It unleashes the fire within me,
Releases the sleeping immortal being,
From the debris of inevitable human disappointments…
Under a starry sky, illuminated by,
The thousands of city lights so down below.
Suddenly a kite soars overhead,
Stealing my mind to the vast universe lying out there.
Which will take into its heart of darkness, my passions laid bare…
One bright star there, or three more.
I can never touch them, but nevertheless,
It makes me dream, someday, someday,
I would want those dreams to come true.
This earth disappoints, maybe another wouldn’t.
Winds took the kite there, the dreams took me…
Winds never did leave me.