Random verses all written in a day.

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When separate eyes meet in a crowded city square,

Over exploits of their humanity, and time, once and again–

They know they were meant to stay together,

Because they were met by a chance of eternity,

To be lost again, and again.

***

I walk through a dark corridor,

The air hungover with muck and gloom.

The door of the forbidden room stands tall

Like the brooding death of innocence.

I’ve arrived the point where it appears clear,

I’m just trying to kill a love I’ve given up believing.

But the stark darkness stuns the virginity in me,

Which is eager, very eager to take me,

Someplace else…

***

Those roads will be difficult to walk on, now alone.

The sand pebbles and germs, and the whirlpools of air

Which like separate worlds, have flourished to life

From the touch of our feet last trodden.

Preserving our childhoods, and pearls of sweet labor lost-

How dare I violate the sacred order of the worlds,

Which, if, might be conspiring to bring our feet together?

Which, if not, how can I disturb the ghost world,

Where in spirals of dust, our ghost selves would dance?

You will apologize to me, I know, you will. One day.

You know, I deserve one, for what I will have to go through…

The trauma of never being at home, while at home.

 

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Higher [Part I]

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The charm… the grace

The faces, the fears

The hotness of winters

And the loudness of tears.

The words, and the gestures,

The wishes left hanging in the air

Only if it could’ve become a private joke.

Little gestures made within indecision.

The sweet breeze hungover with cheer.

The storm rolling inland bears the promise,

Of bringing new showers and more promises.

Unspoken and yet, somehow too obvious.

The arms, the chills, those never quite felt.

The white sea, the foam and frizz.

The damage done the first time

She knows will stay to harm more.

 

The Lotus and The Dragon

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The lotus cloud soars overhead,

Sailing across as if the sky was but a foaming sea.

Then follows the great dragon, flapping its brazen wings

Its talons reach to snatch the lotus flower.

Breathing out its nostrils full of flame.

There’s a battle going up there. Of chaos with peace.

Of the beast that tramples innocence.

How many battles must have been fought thus?

What of victors, what of who’s been paying for it,

No answers, my mind is already somewhere else.

Finite Hearts

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The stars were once plucked from the ashen grey skies.

They shine on lips now, and in eyes which cannot cry.

The sheen of all the silken dresses was extracted, and torn apart.

Making the poison that flows in the waters to mix in the dirt.

Every heart has slept, every bedside lamp extinguished.

It’ll be just one last time, that we would get to dance…

The paper fire’s shriveling up in the dusty grate,

We’re burning up our old love letters to warm us tonight.

Come on, baby, dance with me, this’s that one last time,

When it’s time to bid goodbyes for good and smile.

History ends tonight, civilization will die with the ghost of us,

Tonight there will be no words, just two couples of teary eyes.

And we dance, silently, until we fall, of exhaustion.

Two finite hearts finally, slowly dying in each other’s arms.

Wanderings. Road bumps. Glimpsing back.

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So, the thing about curses is,

When they are cursed, they learn to love

They all love out of suffering their eternities –

Merely out of desperation,

Of having known misery.

Living with cursed people offers you the bliss of being surrounded by the grace of good hope.

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I know you, you’re my mirror self,

My soulmate. I have not given up loving you.

You know it too. Maybe not yet.

You’re arrogant not to admit it thinking of me just yet.

Years will have passed, you will have returned home streets.

With your fancy dollars and shiny tipped American boots

You’ll think of what happened to that sad little girl who thought, “she loves me!”

“Is she so even now?” you’ll wonder sarcastically.

Last month her new bestseller was criticized about being too vulgar? Not too hopeful.

You’ll decide, you’ll have to remember to meet some very old school-times friends,

And remember to drop in a line in between some fancy quote,

“You know the author, was she that vulgar back, you know, at school?”

Then add a little modestly, “You’ll all will know better…classmates after all.”

“Classmates hardly. She was this sad little kid trying to pretend of being brave,”

She sneezes into her napkin. Then nods curtly. Gracious.

Your buddy tugs at your arm. He means, you’ve got to nod too.

She’s his old school darling, and you nod, remembering.

Your beer is slowly warming up. You rarely do beer anymore.

But these old school reunions, so irresistible, drinking beer isn’t silly looking anymore…

You remember the conversation going on. You ask her, “You mean she isn’t brave?”

“She is now.” Big eyes. “Oh well, she changed. About after the time we all left school.”

Oh, her friend said. She brightens up. “She wrote me down on her list of acknowledgements.”

“Well, there are a lot of rumors.” You clear your throat.

“Being a woman and writer at the same time doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian, alright!”

“Oh oh! Defensive!” This was a three way argument. You spectate.

“Well, I remember she was friends with you for a while, isn’t that so?”

Sharp cuts on your memory, refreshing the old wound.

“I don’t remember her very well. Barely used to talk, you know…” Your neck arches.

“Hmm, maybe.” She sniffles her nose. “Maybe.”

“But she wasn’t a bad person. Maybe, just unheard.”

“That’s an understatement. I think she was just stupid.”

You gull down your thought, yeah she was, she trusted people blindly.

I know you’ll want to know it more now than ever. If “she really did love me?”

You’re my shadow self. You’ll rise to find what happened to her. That girl.

That insolent little girl who promised so strongly of being different from the others,

Ending up doing the very same things. You were frustrated and gave up on her.

Now you feel bad. You weren’t any bit generous with her either.

For causes which are null and void in your head atop.

The night you drive by your old house one last time,

You pass by the spot you had come forward to drop her by.

The sun was in your eyes, you didn’t want to go further.

She’d turned back to look you in your eye, asking you to come further. You chose not to.

She kept going on. She was silent and shaken, like a whimpering poisoned lamb.

It had been the final straw, but you never knew. She gave up believing that she can love.

You want to stay now, find her and ask. But she is the hardest thing to find. Everyone tries so.

Rumors also say that she lives at some hermitage, and some say in disguise.

So many of these you don’t know what to believe. You may never find her.

But you won’t forget her even. She will be this question in your head.

Despair not, you’ll meet her again in your next life,

You’re soulmates. You are meant to meet eventually anyway.

You’ll wonder “If she really, really did love me, she should have told me so!”

But did you ever question, from what little you know of her, do you think she knew it

Well enough to know what she doesn’t want to covet something because she likes it?

Weren’t you making yourself look too good to be out of her league and all?

You knew she was buying it all. And yet you sold her some more.

You called her paranoid. You called her schizoid to live in detachment from civilization.

You pushed her away and yet she was so loyal, so nice all the time, wasn’t she?

Oh, you thought it was all just a show for you, didn’t you?

You thought she was just another bigtime girls convent bitch!

You walk up the hill, she used to talk so much about before,

Jokes about going jogging around the peripheries, in new Reeboks.

Oh, those exaggerations of hers, and she thought anyone would buy it.

You catch a little boy whistling a very old song somehow still familiar.

The author asked you to listen to it, once ages ago,

And the ghost of the song stayed stuck.

The servant boy was going shopping for his owners.

The list showed a packet of Gold Flake lites.

You had to ask now. And yeah, here lives the author. No coincidence.

You let the boy pass. You stand at the door. And wait.

And wait.

You are my shadow-self. You won’t wait long.

In my case, I wouldn’t have.

I’d probably just walk away.

Knowing we have eternity together.

Of Addictions and Cravings

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So how does one get out of something like an addiction?

The smoke that fills the room intoxicating time to bend,

Dancing on the floors in little twirls, to seduce will to decay…

The ever growing appetite calling on the blender to hurry.

There’re going to be guests in the house of the old man.

Few words spoken amidst the thousand candleflames chuckling

The noises whispering with the dusty old glassware and cutlery.

The wines will be flowing, the grapes crushed for the bees.

His old beloved’s had plunged down from a lofty cliff.

The smoke’s been burning thus for years and years,

The wines flowing, and all the wax finery will one day melt,

The ground, where everything always find a way to return.

What hope does he have, or what hope befell on these,

Little hearts so torn up to not understand these tragedies.

That chance, mere chance begot them of…?

What of the orchid flowers of temptation,

The sin that offer a heaven of forgetfulness and fantasy?

But in the drizzle of your paradise you’re washed clean,

Of having committed prostitution with death.

Addiction is bad they say, it makes you live a lie!

I say being good, you’re not living the truth either.

Death is inevitable, the day will come we’ll give up anyway.

Being good, you’ll hurt more lives at the end.

Or die scared to death, reality was not real,

Stuck in an asylum you’ll wonder if people weren’t real.

You’re the single human prototype stuck in a virtual illusion.

Some stupid experiment in a stuck up madman’s lab,

Who calls himself God.

Do you want to get out of misery, take the first step soon,

And ask yourself for the truth, and ask a thousand more times.

The scary truth is inevitable, because you’ve known it all along.

Something you can never give up on, cuz’ you’re just hooked on.

Forever and ever. And you don’t care if you don’t win it there.

And still, you just can’t give up. Can you?

Obsession, you call it, I call it love. Just love.

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At last, but what happens to the one who gives up on life,

Fearing that she’ll end up loving living it too much?

Accursed

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Wishes to forget the past wounds wont bear fruit, I know.

Like hopes don’t germinate from wet ashes.

But thinking of you, I really wish, I could forget…

I shiver at certain thoughts, my wishes, some dreams.

Because, again to give it a thought, it’s impossible,

And can’t exist.

Like I’m Calypso reincarnated,

Cursed by the gods for all ages…

To live in an all consuming solitude.

The fates, ever so cruel have left me,

Absolutely no chance at redemption.

Now, as my saviour, they’ve sent me you.

But I know you’ll go away as well.

You have to.

But, I’ll always be here,

Not thinking, not hoping.

Scared to even give it a spare little thought.

Even fleetingly.

Terrified, I’ll ruin the spell.

The fateful moment has cast between us.

But I will never tell.

Like Midas I turn everything I touch, to cold metal.

Which, like statues, start dying on me.

Seeking thy Breath.

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Another composition. I was trying to write a rhyming lyric, here is the out come. An AB-CD-EF verse.

I will tear down the face of heaven and spread it around thy paradise,

I will steal all the stars to release them to roam in thy wake like a thousand fireflies…

The meandering streams of light will wash through the grassy meadows wavering in the wind.

The flood to the the fire, and all in between will merge and slake, when love overflows its brink.

The torments ending when fighting through the tentacles of time and snares of evil fate,

I will find you, your arms, your warmth and lips. And here, again, I wake.

This isn’t really nice or promising, but I couldn’t think of a better twist to it, than making it all a dream that breaks when the fantasy reaches it’s prime. Hope you all like it.

Have a great day ahead. 🙂

A Moment

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Here I tried writing something…so here it goes :-

My eyes wish to behold, again and yet again, the grace with which, thee, my sweet lordship, unfold thy deepest, most wondrous mysteries. My fingers wish to trace your fair skin, under which the blue veins snake their way through your flesh, more fragrant than all of Persephone’s grove, by far worth more than Hades’ treasure trove…

And it’s thy heart, made of the densest gold, harder than the hardest diamond, but it’s just that I wish to win. Thy lips, that speak so much, thy eyes, express. I wish to smoothe out that delicate tensed brow. I wish to sort through your beautiful long lashes and to fill thy sweet mouth with gentle kisses. And there lying around in some far away meadow, shall we have our sweet recess. We will share little sweet promises, sweet little breaths exchanged. How, lying there on the warm, moist grass we would make wagers on our lives.

It’s a sport of young lovers, such as ourselves to let Passion, Love’s hot headed brother override our sane rational minds. Take oblique decisions, the orders, our hearts fail to obey. I know this will someday end, the rat race of passion and morals clashing will end one day. Like thee, ever so gentle, so noble, may someday just walk away, for my goodness’ sake. But it’ll be me here, rooted to the scent of this meadow, and the lingering aftertaste of your kiss on my tongue.

I’ve really attempted to write prose after a really long time. Could use an opinion if anyone could offer any regarding the progress of the piece. Thanks.

Wish

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Dream of starry nights, on a fresh lawn,

You’ll wake up to a dampened dawn.

Wishing for love, friends and shooting stars,

Hurt you’ll be, never think they’re made for thee.

 

Dream, dream, within your gilded soul,

Sweet princess, so alien within this world.

Where nothing can touch you,

With a feather, nor ever a sword.

 

Within your spirit, you live, you rule,

You create, wonderful worlds.

You live for a greater cause.

Others just don’t get there.

– – one soul mate, that is me – –

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As I see myself so happy, I am hurt.

There’s no reason for me to be happy anymore.

When my lips wouldn’t stretch further in a fake smile,

I find something wailing, unbearably loud, inside.

That shrill noise goes on breaching all my fortresses,

Setting to fire, my mighty monuments of fantasy,

And, ah, hope after all these years of pining in the inferno.

Sometimes I wish I could just pull it out of myself,

The deadly masque, which like symbiote,

Sticks to me, plays hoaxes through me.

The masque, that has slowly started,

To imitate me, but in subtle ways,

So very different.

 

Dreams that are never going to come true,

Why, O’ why, my dear heart,

Still so busy weaving them?

Why, wait for imaginary footsteps,

While living in a palace of glass,

In the middle of a desert lake?

 

At last like your only well wisher,

Like a hopeless Knight in shining armour,

For you, he never will be,

I wish to tell you of a few truths,

You’ve already always known as have I–

In the end, you will be the one, starkly alone.

Only your joy and blood will be hurt when,

Which already is too late, you decide it’s time;

To see the clear truths, that had been untouched all along.

That now you pretend to see and ignore.

Breaking Free

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Had been locked up inside my own mind, as if,

Tied by rusting chainmail to the icy castle of night.

So, didn’t even have to  really struggle, to get out,

My spirit, unbound, just by mere thought, broke free

Like a canon-ball of shiny metal set to blaze,

Just shot out of sight…

 

Dashing past the clouds of mist and ghosts from the past,

Unholy things, those were, by inches, couldn’t touch my light.

Everything burned along the path I trailed in my way,

The purest form of energy, like fire, now flowing through me.

Firmly ridden on the back of the mad, mad wind,

I reach for the haloed sunbeams pouring in thick abundance,

Through distant holes in the wide blue-white sky.

 

My quest for peace, finally sated for a while,

I wait at the gates of heaven, to open up.

I haven’t seen my God, and it’s been quite some time.