Giving Chances

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Why do you hide under a veil?

When all you could be doing is soaring on your wings?

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Why do you reach for stars,

When all you could know is you have it in you to shine?

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Why age them in just peering through,

Those eyes, yours, shy like a virgin, which want to learn…

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The veil, that poor see through thing,

Are you letting it, or is it really caging you, against your will?

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Have they tied anklets around your feet,

In gold and silver that gleam but clang like cowbells?

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Tell me of your childhood, your real one.

Did you have a ‘gudda’* then, you loved to fondle around all day?

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You did, didn’t you? You loved him.

Then everything changed, when your childhood was taken from you.

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You were just told, what was right and wrong,

You just winked once and your lovebirds took off into the blue.

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Never you got to see them ever again,

Those mad birds, soaring high, higher than ever you’d flown your kite.

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Those disobedient little creatures,

But why aren’t you happy, that they’ve left you…?

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You must wonder where now they live,

Have they gone away far enough to live in some other world…?

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Those two eyes, two tiny little birds,

Must be wandering among all beautiful things, which you won’t know…

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Those obstinate, selfish birds, that live in dreams,

Ever wondered how they bless humanity every night? They hope for us.

 

 

 

 

 

Mind over Matter (Excerpt from The Return of the Forsaken

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“You know, you’re adapting well, with all of it. Almost too well.” Virginia appeared in front of me, her hair messy and her plait end wet. Trying not to think about it, I couldn’t help thinking of anything else. I tried to get up but then the belt strapped around me awkwardly dragged me back. “One might actually buy it, if you told them you never left earth.”

“Why do you say so?” I was taken by surprise.

She grinned and placed her finger on my armrest, almost bending over me. She smiled at me, “Because I tell you this is my jet plane, and you didn’t seem surprised at all. Of course, I get it. You have probably a million planes at your command already, being a prince and all that.”

Now I just felt bad. I unhooked the seat belt. I tried to grin. “So, why aren’t you sleeping, madam? Your eyes will be rebuking you all day when we’ll be driving around bright Beverly Hills.”

“Just thoughts. Actually I was sleeping, and a thought woke me up,” she picked at the belt of her robe. “You don’t think it’s too warm in here?”

I shook my head at her and she puckered. “Alright, so it’s just me, huh! Wanna come with me to get some coffee?”

She was dressed like this, in a cute little overcoat and woolen socks on her feet, almost dressed for bed but then she had this plait on that gave you the idea she didn’t really plan on relaxing. It was hard to focus from the way her perky little figure undulated from faux drowsiness. I knew her too well, she wasn’t sleeping, and also that she wasn’t planning to either.

“You’re practically married, so why the hell would you want to go out in your own plane to get coffee with me?” I knew what she was playing at. I knew it wasn’t right to do that to her, all over again, but with nothing clearly set on my platter, I had very little space in it to fit her in. And I knew one thing about her, it was a wrong thing to do, trying to just fit her in. She was much too important for such attitude from someone else. “You could just get the attendant ladies to get you anything you want.”

Her shoulder arched in defense. She thought for a long moment. “Well, is it wrong to wish to talk to you, just for once, alone? Thought coffee would make it easier.”

I gulp down some more sarcasm. I hated myself right then. The constant part of me that kept internally tearing up about those same old things. And then the other was rebuking me for all those mistakes I didn’t commit knowingly, and yet I knew I’d commit them over a thousand more times just because it got me that special thing. Then there was that part of me that was hurling things things at me, knocking things over in my head, so caught up in a fit of rage, that it keeps trying to convince me of things I didn’t want to believe in.

I accompany her, to the rear end of the plane where they had the pantry cabin. I didn’t like the setting. It was exactly what I didn’t need right now. A closed space with her. But damn it, she just always has to ruin it for me.

She pressed a lot of dials trying to get the coffee machine working. At last I had to step in. I tapped the power button and it whirred to work. She covered her face, “I’m a mess! Gee! You’re right, I’m pathetic.”

She was goofy and somehow yet original. The truth was it was her unmasked naïve ways that made her so very attractive. “Maybe in some twisted era I perceived it as charm. Now, I know that’s what I’d been missing.”

She lets her hand drop and looks straight at me. Her eyes were the bluest things I’ve ever seen that drew on me like non-existent magic, silently asking me to believe. I couldn’t look away, for the time the machine whirred. It wasn’t hard to imagine, me taking her hand and just begin.

She could just have collected her coffee and we’d have been done there. But she just stood there. I stood there breathing, and doing nothing.

“You know,” she began, “I thought this would be easier.” Her eyes shone, and suddenly she pulled me in and kissed me. I was in over my head as well. Even though in my head things worked differently, this was too much to handle well. I knew there’d be no stopping once I gave in.

I knew I had to push her away. It was how it was supposed to be. “Virginia! Virginia! We’ve got to stop this!” I said around when we both turned up for a breath.

She turned away, looking hurt. I understood only too well. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a very long time.”

I look at her, and speak, “It’s been the same for me. But I’m sorted out now. You should be as well. It’s the right thing to do…”

She didn’t look back at me. She filled her cup with coffee and filled another. “Here you go,” she said lifting the cup for me to take. Before I could take it, she put it on the counter and turned around and began to walk away.

I snapped back to my senses and in a wild moment, I followed her and grabbed her wrist and pulled her back in. I muffled her mouth and silently let her eyes rake my face. It was unbearable already, to have her in my arms like that, to linger on a single sane thought, and it was the dead of the night in a sleeping plane cabin to begin with.

I took her neck in my hands and pushed her against the wood-paneled wall. “Girl, do you even realize just how much you drive me crazy? And with the fact that it’s just us here, you don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into. I might rape you here, and you couldn’t call on anyone for help even if you wanted to. If I wished it were to be that way.”

Her eyes eased up, but my hand still clamped over her mouth. I kept on going, “You little girl! You haven’t changed a bit. God, how hard it is just to be looking at you like this. Makes me try to be good and fail at it so inevitably.”

Her eyes turned defiant. Yes, she would tell me to stop trying. It was driving me insane. I said, “It was the same, back all those years before. How you got me wound up so tight, I’d be fighting myself. I knew it would never work out. These kinds of feelings never work out in the real world. I knew I respected you too much to be your boyfriend and treat you like you’re my girl. You’re not just some ‘my girl’ material. I knew you deserved better, you deserve someone who’d directly submit everything he possesses to you. Make you his queen – let you rule his home and heart. It was always like that. I didn’t possess anything, anything I could offer you then, nor do I do now.

“I’m not a good person, Virginia. We have real problems. You know everything, and it just makes me angry thinking, you of all people, knowing exactly how difficult it is for me to say no to you, you deliberately put me to test like this, over and over.”

I let go of her mouth, and she breathed. Unexpectedly, she hugged me. “Don’t say anything. I’ve missed this long enough.” I knew she was talking of our closeness, and I didn’t try to push her away this time.

Finite Hearts

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The stars were once plucked from the ashen grey skies.

They shine on lips now, and in eyes which cannot cry.

The sheen of all the silken dresses was extracted, and torn apart.

Making the poison that flows in the waters to mix in the dirt.

Every heart has slept, every bedside lamp extinguished.

It’ll be just one last time, that we would get to dance…

The paper fire’s shriveling up in the dusty grate,

We’re burning up our old love letters to warm us tonight.

Come on, baby, dance with me, this’s that one last time,

When it’s time to bid goodbyes for good and smile.

History ends tonight, civilization will die with the ghost of us,

Tonight there will be no words, just two couples of teary eyes.

And we dance, silently, until we fall, of exhaustion.

Two finite hearts finally, slowly dying in each other’s arms.

Of Addictions and Cravings

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So how does one get out of something like an addiction?

The smoke that fills the room intoxicating time to bend,

Dancing on the floors in little twirls, to seduce will to decay…

The ever growing appetite calling on the blender to hurry.

There’re going to be guests in the house of the old man.

Few words spoken amidst the thousand candleflames chuckling

The noises whispering with the dusty old glassware and cutlery.

The wines will be flowing, the grapes crushed for the bees.

His old beloved’s had plunged down from a lofty cliff.

The smoke’s been burning thus for years and years,

The wines flowing, and all the wax finery will one day melt,

The ground, where everything always find a way to return.

What hope does he have, or what hope befell on these,

Little hearts so torn up to not understand these tragedies.

That chance, mere chance begot them of…?

What of the orchid flowers of temptation,

The sin that offer a heaven of forgetfulness and fantasy?

But in the drizzle of your paradise you’re washed clean,

Of having committed prostitution with death.

Addiction is bad they say, it makes you live a lie!

I say being good, you’re not living the truth either.

Death is inevitable, the day will come we’ll give up anyway.

Being good, you’ll hurt more lives at the end.

Or die scared to death, reality was not real,

Stuck in an asylum you’ll wonder if people weren’t real.

You’re the single human prototype stuck in a virtual illusion.

Some stupid experiment in a stuck up madman’s lab,

Who calls himself God.

Do you want to get out of misery, take the first step soon,

And ask yourself for the truth, and ask a thousand more times.

The scary truth is inevitable, because you’ve known it all along.

Something you can never give up on, cuz’ you’re just hooked on.

Forever and ever. And you don’t care if you don’t win it there.

And still, you just can’t give up. Can you?

Obsession, you call it, I call it love. Just love.

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At last, but what happens to the one who gives up on life,

Fearing that she’ll end up loving living it too much?

It will rain and it will rain ♥

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The air simmers, blisters. Induced hallucinations.

The cracked open mouth of wounded earth,

Seeped with blood red and covered with rust.

Centuries and eons of memories clouded by dust.

 

The fragile lines were breached once long ago,

The tempest had once rushed into my shore.

It’s been long and time has swept away the resort

The floods and waves of tide haunted me to drown.

 

Then the sea is just a embittered memory,

And it was a heap of sand I’d leapt into. Not death.

See, the passion had been sung well to drone.

To arise and laugh back, when mirages mock.

 

It’s been long I’ve lived scared to scraps and bolts.

It, the post traumatic stress disorder in me craving blood.

But I’m ready to go all out again, for surfing in the sea of love.

And she has to come out too, the madwoman locked in my head…

 

The fighter in me. The rebel. The poet. The lover.

The unchained philosopher, her storm unleashed.

Night has finally settled bets with daylight

There right there, fate’s let my midnight sun dawn.

 

Now again the tempest blows ashore, from the east.

The distant roars of the hungry cranky clouds resound

After flashes of desire reflecting his heart and mine.

After a long time I know, it will rain and it will rain.

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Accursed

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Wishes to forget the past wounds wont bear fruit, I know.

Like hopes don’t germinate from wet ashes.

But thinking of you, I really wish, I could forget…

I shiver at certain thoughts, my wishes, some dreams.

Because, again to give it a thought, it’s impossible,

And can’t exist.

Like I’m Calypso reincarnated,

Cursed by the gods for all ages…

To live in an all consuming solitude.

The fates, ever so cruel have left me,

Absolutely no chance at redemption.

Now, as my saviour, they’ve sent me you.

But I know you’ll go away as well.

You have to.

But, I’ll always be here,

Not thinking, not hoping.

Scared to even give it a spare little thought.

Even fleetingly.

Terrified, I’ll ruin the spell.

The fateful moment has cast between us.

But I will never tell.

Like Midas I turn everything I touch, to cold metal.

Which, like statues, start dying on me.

Seeking thy Breath.

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Another composition. I was trying to write a rhyming lyric, here is the out come. An AB-CD-EF verse.

I will tear down the face of heaven and spread it around thy paradise,

I will steal all the stars to release them to roam in thy wake like a thousand fireflies…

The meandering streams of light will wash through the grassy meadows wavering in the wind.

The flood to the the fire, and all in between will merge and slake, when love overflows its brink.

The torments ending when fighting through the tentacles of time and snares of evil fate,

I will find you, your arms, your warmth and lips. And here, again, I wake.

This isn’t really nice or promising, but I couldn’t think of a better twist to it, than making it all a dream that breaks when the fantasy reaches it’s prime. Hope you all like it.

Have a great day ahead. 🙂

A Moment

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Here I tried writing something…so here it goes :-

My eyes wish to behold, again and yet again, the grace with which, thee, my sweet lordship, unfold thy deepest, most wondrous mysteries. My fingers wish to trace your fair skin, under which the blue veins snake their way through your flesh, more fragrant than all of Persephone’s grove, by far worth more than Hades’ treasure trove…

And it’s thy heart, made of the densest gold, harder than the hardest diamond, but it’s just that I wish to win. Thy lips, that speak so much, thy eyes, express. I wish to smoothe out that delicate tensed brow. I wish to sort through your beautiful long lashes and to fill thy sweet mouth with gentle kisses. And there lying around in some far away meadow, shall we have our sweet recess. We will share little sweet promises, sweet little breaths exchanged. How, lying there on the warm, moist grass we would make wagers on our lives.

It’s a sport of young lovers, such as ourselves to let Passion, Love’s hot headed brother override our sane rational minds. Take oblique decisions, the orders, our hearts fail to obey. I know this will someday end, the rat race of passion and morals clashing will end one day. Like thee, ever so gentle, so noble, may someday just walk away, for my goodness’ sake. But it’ll be me here, rooted to the scent of this meadow, and the lingering aftertaste of your kiss on my tongue.

I’ve really attempted to write prose after a really long time. Could use an opinion if anyone could offer any regarding the progress of the piece. Thanks.

A Cynical Me

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These violent delights have violent ends…

Why, I couldn’t remember that,

Before I gave away my heart,

In just a fancy little fantasy?

 

But now I know, it’s all the same.

What I’ve become, I don’t wanna know.

It’s only me now, the only one,

Who can surprise me in my ire.

And nothing else.

 

No more fire. No more violence.

Just stretches of grey foggy dreariness everywhere,

Hard as rock, the hall of stones stand,

Like walls of doom over me.

 

Like a volcano too cools down one day.

Then rocks do not react to water or a touch.

That’s where violent fantasies end,

And worldly delights begin…

Wish

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Dream of starry nights, on a fresh lawn,

You’ll wake up to a dampened dawn.

Wishing for love, friends and shooting stars,

Hurt you’ll be, never think they’re made for thee.

 

Dream, dream, within your gilded soul,

Sweet princess, so alien within this world.

Where nothing can touch you,

With a feather, nor ever a sword.

 

Within your spirit, you live, you rule,

You create, wonderful worlds.

You live for a greater cause.

Others just don’t get there.

Sin Cera

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What is that revenge if it’s not taken with a passion?

 

Of, what use would that murder be,

If it doesn’t satiate the bloodthirsty anger?

 

And definitely, is there a way that

Love will find the way out and into your heart,

Unless you learn to set it free?

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O’ you, miserable, miserly wretched geek,

You are poor, even though you think you’re rich.

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Because numbers in your bank passbook,

Doesn’t stand for smiles that take your look.

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Waking up, you will see it one day,

You’re left alone, and the world has moved on…

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All cooped up inside your little nest, you are

Like an angry, very angry bird.

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As much you want,

You can peck and punch through your walls,

But no ear still, will hear your cries.

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(You can’t eat your gadgets,

I know you will not ever–)

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Ashtrays will go on piling up, more and more

The dustbin overflowing with paper and rust.

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Decaf will always remain stuck to your mug,

But no one’s home to do the dishes tonight.

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Old and haggard, you’ll turn with time,

No smile you’ll get, just scowls and butts.

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Lying in your bed you’ll cough and toss,

But no hand will touch your forehead with love.

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Then only two options you have: rub your fat snout,

With a clean white sheet, and come out, right now!

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Or, live in it. And smoke up your life,

Puff by puff, soaring higher and higher,

Like a very angry bird.

By, Cyril Cliffette © 2012

Solitary Musings #2

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He said to Man, “Thou shall reap the rewards, as thou hath sown the seeds…”

Why then, He brings in storms and floods to wash away our efforts and sweat?

Why, proving, that our sins of passion and innocence puts us in an eternal hell,

Does He sit in heaven, tempting us to dream of a paradise that will never be ours…

To enjoy the tragic comedy he had created?

And we thought Fathers love their children…

*sigh*