My phantasmal lover

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No matter how dark the clouds are,

You’re always there at the back of my mind…

And when I see no light, nor picture a silver lining,

I picture you before my closed eyes,

Standing there next to me on my window sill,

Looking at me, love brimming in your eyes

And I can smile again as widely as I can’t…

Turning the dark clouds to fluffy white.

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the nostrils flared, the eyes quelled

the darkness creeps in when the shadows have all melt

it’s a hell, my soul, where my cold demons dwell.

but I know, it’s my heart, that’s still beating

against all reason, still, still feeling, still breaking.

underneath the skin, vomiting, shuddering,

a tiny little adorable cell of love is awakening,

soon to grow up to kill me like a cancer.