Giving Chances

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Why do you hide under a veil?

When all you could be doing is soaring on your wings?

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Why do you reach for stars,

When all you could know is you have it in you to shine?

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Why age them in just peering through,

Those eyes, yours, shy like a virgin, which want to learn…

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The veil, that poor see through thing,

Are you letting it, or is it really caging you, against your will?

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Have they tied anklets around your feet,

In gold and silver that gleam but clang like cowbells?

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Tell me of your childhood, your real one.

Did you have a ‘gudda’* then, you loved to fondle around all day?

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You did, didn’t you? You loved him.

Then everything changed, when your childhood was taken from you.

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You were just told, what was right and wrong,

You just winked once and your lovebirds took off into the blue.

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Never you got to see them ever again,

Those mad birds, soaring high, higher than ever you’d flown your kite.

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Those disobedient little creatures,

But why aren’t you happy, that they’ve left you…?

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You must wonder where now they live,

Have they gone away far enough to live in some other world…?

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Those two eyes, two tiny little birds,

Must be wandering among all beautiful things, which you won’t know…

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Those obstinate, selfish birds, that live in dreams,

Ever wondered how they bless humanity every night? They hope for us.

 

 

 

 

 

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Tids and bits

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What you’ve found in me,

Think you hit the gold core?

<Oh, honey it isn’t what you think!>

You’ve got to get low and dirty to sink,

If you wanna win the heart!

What you’ve found in me,

Throw it out. You don’t know me.

<Not even close>

Tell me do you believe in magic, oh come on,

 I promise I won’t put you under my spell.

Spells don’t work the way you’d want.

But if you wanna win the heart, oh you’ll have to ring the bells.

If you wanna love me, you’ll have ask me.

Come to me, I’ll take you deeper into my empty room

I’ll let a flood of my thought hit you.

Until you’re intoxicated by my essence.

 

What you found in me, you thought was gold?

Oh, honey, I’d rather wager you with the universe.

Dig a little deeper, you’re an immortal, and so am I.

Finite Hearts

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The stars were once plucked from the ashen grey skies.

They shine on lips now, and in eyes which cannot cry.

The sheen of all the silken dresses was extracted, and torn apart.

Making the poison that flows in the waters to mix in the dirt.

Every heart has slept, every bedside lamp extinguished.

It’ll be just one last time, that we would get to dance…

The paper fire’s shriveling up in the dusty grate,

We’re burning up our old love letters to warm us tonight.

Come on, baby, dance with me, this’s that one last time,

When it’s time to bid goodbyes for good and smile.

History ends tonight, civilization will die with the ghost of us,

Tonight there will be no words, just two couples of teary eyes.

And we dance, silently, until we fall, of exhaustion.

Two finite hearts finally, slowly dying in each other’s arms.

It will rain and it will rain ♥

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The air simmers, blisters. Induced hallucinations.

The cracked open mouth of wounded earth,

Seeped with blood red and covered with rust.

Centuries and eons of memories clouded by dust.

 

The fragile lines were breached once long ago,

The tempest had once rushed into my shore.

It’s been long and time has swept away the resort

The floods and waves of tide haunted me to drown.

 

Then the sea is just a embittered memory,

And it was a heap of sand I’d leapt into. Not death.

See, the passion had been sung well to drone.

To arise and laugh back, when mirages mock.

 

It’s been long I’ve lived scared to scraps and bolts.

It, the post traumatic stress disorder in me craving blood.

But I’m ready to go all out again, for surfing in the sea of love.

And she has to come out too, the madwoman locked in my head…

 

The fighter in me. The rebel. The poet. The lover.

The unchained philosopher, her storm unleashed.

Night has finally settled bets with daylight

There right there, fate’s let my midnight sun dawn.

 

Now again the tempest blows ashore, from the east.

The distant roars of the hungry cranky clouds resound

After flashes of desire reflecting his heart and mine.

After a long time I know, it will rain and it will rain.

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I will Remember Everything

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Drip with all your stock of sweet golden honey,

Pour on me with some more of the hopeful bliss…

Lace me up with the bittersweet memory,

Of how we were together, at one, and twice.

 

Month, year, era, life will passes by,

Twigs, roots and time will intertwine.

We may part, and never meet again,

But this moment, on, will surely live forever.

– – one soul mate, that is me – –

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As I see myself so happy, I am hurt.

There’s no reason for me to be happy anymore.

When my lips wouldn’t stretch further in a fake smile,

I find something wailing, unbearably loud, inside.

That shrill noise goes on breaching all my fortresses,

Setting to fire, my mighty monuments of fantasy,

And, ah, hope after all these years of pining in the inferno.

Sometimes I wish I could just pull it out of myself,

The deadly masque, which like symbiote,

Sticks to me, plays hoaxes through me.

The masque, that has slowly started,

To imitate me, but in subtle ways,

So very different.

 

Dreams that are never going to come true,

Why, O’ why, my dear heart,

Still so busy weaving them?

Why, wait for imaginary footsteps,

While living in a palace of glass,

In the middle of a desert lake?

 

At last like your only well wisher,

Like a hopeless Knight in shining armour,

For you, he never will be,

I wish to tell you of a few truths,

You’ve already always known as have I–

In the end, you will be the one, starkly alone.

Only your joy and blood will be hurt when,

Which already is too late, you decide it’s time;

To see the clear truths, that had been untouched all along.

That now you pretend to see and ignore.

Sunday Morning without my Glasses.

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Through saffron washed shades,

My sleepless eyes peep at the bright Sunday sun.

My familiar green purse with my stock of change,

I set out from home, this Sunday morning,

Without my glasses, my weekday eyes.

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The damp trees all stand, towering over me…

Smug and sated after drizzles for the last few nights…

Like a witch’s prickly hair and pointed hat,

The willowy branches seem to point at me.

Forming black curves against the whipped blue sky.

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Colourful paper squares soar overhead,

Tied to invisible cords spinning from spindles,

Held by unseen hands, all children out of sight…

Hazy lines of gleaming pinballs come rolling down,

The flyover down the road that draws towards town…

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Something special is happening  today–

Some kind of campaign, some race-like procession.

Horse drawn carts racing along with motorbikes;

Car windows shooting out overgrown men,

Scarves tied on the heads, flapping behind.

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Signboards I cannot see, my eyes are not with me.

But logos, and symbols I can make out.

I see the big M of McDonald’s, ’coz that was my destination,

As the hot aroma of butterscotch pancakes hits my sense of smell,

I cannot delay, my empty stomach affirms in a grumbled rebuke.

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Hmph! Again a queue, this straightened out morning!

Probably BPO employees were out now, for dates after shifts,

I fake an accent, to pull the attention to me, a lonely visitor…

Only later did I notice, by far, I do not look anything

But a plain, fat, native, DU student out on a morning stroll.

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A Sausage McMuffin, French fries and coke combined,

I have a decent meal to name on the roll at last.

Cuddling couples stare, I stare back; they don’t know, they’re not my eyes.

Like coins in my purse jingle, their accusing glares bounce right off me–

Never leaving it, like change, just piling up more and more…

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Sadly, now that the morning’s passed,

And without my glasses, I’ll have to return back.

Gems put out on display catches the light–

I look at the shiny jewellery shops as I go,

But no eyes here, to watch them shine.

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It’s broad and harsh daylight now…

And I have to get back home, before,

While crossing the wide road,

I’m trampled by a truck or a van,

I mistook for a shiny silver pinball.

I Give Up on You.

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It’s 5:32 am of the next day. I haven’t slept yet, so the morning is not for me.

Outside my window I see freedom everywhere, inside I’m trapped in me.

My tears that I’d once believed had dried, quelled up once again–

As looking through my old texts, I see bits of the person I used to be…

 

Naively falling, placing wagers on the wrong people, whom to trust and stuff…

Was I so gullible that I mistook my infatuation for immortal love?

I don’t know how I believed there was something redeemable in him,

But whatever the impression was, I’m still paying heavily for it.

 

I can say I liked a hundred million things about him, I know, I do,

I will also tell, he doesn’t and never will like a single thing about me.

Well it narrows it down, it was my mistake, I was naive and stuff,

But it won’t be true, since I myself would think it as a bluff.

 

I know my reasons, that they are sincere enough to make him see a fool.

Never will he see me as I want him to, and never will I give up on him.

So, when will it be when I would realize I actually need help?

When will the time come, I will be free from my unrequited love…

 

To see the world as his eyes do, to gain the equivalent amount of coldness,

For me to slander a friend, like he does to me and my emotions, Oh tell me!

He is a human, pretty and ugly. I wasn’t yet a human, but soon, I will be.

No fire, no storm, no longer human, I’d be. Like him. I pray, oh, tell me!

The Healer. The Seer.

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You were like October’s rain, rinsing away the ravages of Juno’s mayhem.
The last embers of a hissing fire, was extinguished with your shower.
With every step you took toward me, you made the crickets in the thicket fade away.
The something that used to corrode my insides, I was finally ready to give up.

Exhausted and lost, gasping for water, I had collapsed.
Hallucinating, probably, dazed I was, fatally close to the point of incinerating myself.
Though not a waterbearer, you shot an arrow from your quiver,
Through the rocks under my feet.

At your grace, upon your mercy, it was spring in mid October,
There sprang a stream, bubbling and splashing, abundant in plentitude.
But I did not lean down to quench my thirst;
Since there was Old Narcissus’ sad tale to note.

Then, passing away, seeing another in distress, you galloped away.
To quench someone else’s lips, to heal another set of broken wings.
You didn’t even turn back once, to see your magic peeling off undone…
That I am left alone again, left to go back to my October in mayhem.

SUNRISE

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Healing the night,

The dampened passions,

Washes the soil,

The trees, winds retreat.

Flapping into the blue,

New life starts, new strength.

Springing from the earth,

Leftovers too take a new heart.

Warms up the bony spirit,

A heat that doesn’t scorch yet.

Swipes away the bad memories,

And soured breaths, one day, you’ll forget.