My phantasmal lover

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No matter how dark the clouds are,

You’re always there at the back of my mind…

And when I see no light, nor picture a silver lining,

I picture you before my closed eyes,

Standing there next to me on my window sill,

Looking at me, love brimming in your eyes

And I can smile again as widely as I can’t…

Turning the dark clouds to fluffy white.

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Six Months Ago

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Running around,
Screaming around <in my head>
With no questions to ask,
And all pain and guilt.

<Six months ago> You made me wipe away my tears,
<Six months ago> You had me smiling again,
<Six months ago> You had me listening to metal!
<Six months ago> You taught me to love…oo oo ooooo….

Love, love, love, <love, love, love, love, love>
Some mystery it is. <How it happened>
You’d know it all better. <Sure you do>
It’s easy to mistake,
But then it never is.

<Six months ago> It all changed.
<Six months ago> You changed it for me.
<Six months ago> You, you, you happened.
<Six months ago> And your cycle became my eternity.

Words, little words, ran out of mind. <my my, my, my, my>
Some mystery that is. <How it happened>
You’d know it all better. <Sure you do>
It’s easy to mistake.
But then is it?

I plead guilty, <I am I know>
But like all crimes, punish me. <Oh, don’t leave me alone>
You cut me off, like I’m made of paper.
You turned away, like it’ll undo the last six months.

<Six months ago> You spoke a spell, <or something like that>
<Six months ago> If you’d remember, we had something to fight for.
<Six months ago> Six months have passed, and it’s just hurting now.
<Six months ago> You killed us but then there’s the ghost of our laughter…

Taunting through the day and haunting the nights,
You’re out there, soaring up on sunny beaches,
With the tides and the sun, while in silence life leaks outta me,
Caught in the perpetual ice storm, you and life conspired to put me in.

<Six months ago> I wished to die, and fade,
<Six months ago> What I feel now.
<Six months ago> You came in and that changed.
<Six months ago> Now you’re gone and won’t come back again.

All I wanna apologize for is,
I really do miss you.
Baby, you were all the good things,
I believe life ever had to offer me, that I will miss.

It will rain and it will rain ♥

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The air simmers, blisters. Induced hallucinations.

The cracked open mouth of wounded earth,

Seeped with blood red and covered with rust.

Centuries and eons of memories clouded by dust.

 

The fragile lines were breached once long ago,

The tempest had once rushed into my shore.

It’s been long and time has swept away the resort

The floods and waves of tide haunted me to drown.

 

Then the sea is just a embittered memory,

And it was a heap of sand I’d leapt into. Not death.

See, the passion had been sung well to drone.

To arise and laugh back, when mirages mock.

 

It’s been long I’ve lived scared to scraps and bolts.

It, the post traumatic stress disorder in me craving blood.

But I’m ready to go all out again, for surfing in the sea of love.

And she has to come out too, the madwoman locked in my head…

 

The fighter in me. The rebel. The poet. The lover.

The unchained philosopher, her storm unleashed.

Night has finally settled bets with daylight

There right there, fate’s let my midnight sun dawn.

 

Now again the tempest blows ashore, from the east.

The distant roars of the hungry cranky clouds resound

After flashes of desire reflecting his heart and mine.

After a long time I know, it will rain and it will rain.

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It’s how it’ll always be.

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My Promise.

I’ll always love you.

I’ve always loved you.

And I will always love you.

Others will come into my life, like every morning is new, and we try new things, every other day.

But every night, like I put on a different set of clothes, to sleep away the lonely, tragic hours,

I drink you in like an exotic wine, some magic potion…

that erases every thing and rewinds time back to the day we met.

The day, I traded in my soul to the devil,

That I may remember you as the only man in my life.

And then I remember everything.

Oh, and with love…

Aged

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The morning light touches me with a twinge of guilt,
When my sunken eyes peer through tear splashed glass.
The night of mighty dust gales had hidden stars from me.
The tempest of last night, has left my courtyard wet,
The rains washed my glasses clean, also the last tears.
Messed my hair, but smoothened out many other things.
The storm has passed now, now that morning’s hit the streets,
The winds, I had learned to tame, have blown me back home.

In Transition

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**NOTE: Read it with empathy.**
Tonight, my hand shakes.
I cannot hold my pen,
Nor can I type.
I cannot write!
.
Tonight nothing can help me,
No, I am not drunk, not even a little.
I am not high, and the ones who make me
Aren’t here. Cheers on their divine names.
.
I and hypocrisy have a long nemesis,
Tonight I am avenging my cause–
All those nights of tempestuous overtures,
And torments for self containment.
.
Hot, prickling, irksome — tears moisten my cursed lashes.
The broken dreams, like glass, jabs mercilessly into my flesh.
When I think and realise, revenges are going nowhere,
When it comes down to those, whose against I stand.
.
Love, that once washed inside me, like a flooded river,
Is slowly molding into a separate earth. Of cold stone.
But still in the deeps, love boils and spits, like an ominous volcano.
One passionate quake, and the rocks would all collapse…
.
But I cannot lose this war, I cannot!
Cannot let the rocks collapse…cannot let myself hope again.
(As if I can hold back such a phenomenon!)
Because, it’s me, and it’s always been me, I cannot write!
.
Untouched. Forsaken, I’ll remain, frozen.
Waiting for my love to die. But also hoping, he’d give in,
And the cracked earth will soak in the tempest,
Slaking the eternal thirst of the dry, scorched rocks.
.
Smothering the love…
Dammit, fantasies again!
I cannot write!
I just cannot.

Thunder

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tearing through the dull grey midnight

thunder comes clapping with a loud bang,

with a flashy warning sent a second ago–

usually missed by the busy people.

_

little girls jump and scream

hide under covers at night.

or run for their mothers’ arms,

behind shut doors, to keep it out.

_

but I hadn’t missed the warning,

so I dash out to hear it.

the sonic booming and the mad hale

as clouds break out in war.

_

taking the pleasure of the party,

of the drunk birds and dirt swirls,

I wish I had wings of wax,

to watch it from some place closer.

_

but later those would bring me my death,

when Apollo’s jealousy would melt the wax.

Maybe Daedalus could help me somehow,

but then he’s too is lost in his wargames.

_

my mortal eyes cannot see,

if it’s Zeus out there with his lightening bolt

riding his chariot, chasing the anemoi thuellai.

or it’s great Thor with his mighty Mjölnir.

_

I would never know for sure.

I’m content watching from afar,

hoping, hoping, hoping,

one day I’ll be among the stars.

@cyril cliffette, 2012

I bleeding heart you

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I’ve been crying out really loud. Nobody hears it.

They think it’s probably the storm.

Maybe some of it’s going on,

In my head. Ravaging.

Gorging. Caving.

It showers.

I love the rain,

It cries with me……

Watching the wet clothes,

Falls slack, sticking to my skin,

I almost double over with fresh tears.

I remember I am a human. Like everyone else,

I get to keep my pride, my self. Not put up with someone,

Who demeans my rights, my own, who-am-I ideas, my personality.

I am not invisible. Clothes wouldn’t stick to me otherwise.

Winds blow stronger, in an attempt to undress me,

The kind of violence I’ve always fantasized,

For a special someone to use with me.

The one who’d never cared for me,

I cry for him, but I vow…no can’t do it;

I don’t want to see him cry. Never. Not even a little bit.

Just a wish, maybe a fantasy, I would very much like to see the sky raining blood.

With me.

Frozen In Time

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Dearest December,
How do I tell you how much I miss you, all throughout the year?
How I long for your return, for the touch of your icy fires
Over my dry, long forsaken skin, cracked for the lack of mist…
I pine for the memories with which only you wash my feet.
The flush you usher inside my dulled heart, your winds do not torment me.
As you are what my soul craves, the perfect time, the perfect state,
For many others you are just another month on the calendar,
But for me, you are an inseparable part, my eternal rest, an oasis.
Time and again, you remind me of the lost parts of my heart,
Lost for all of eternity, and yet, somehow in your name, they breathe…
Frozen in time, there is still a part of me that will live on and on.
Without guilt, without fear, I will dance in your storm,
Your arms will hold me from falling and breaking, it won’t happen twice
Without gravity pulling us apart, we’ll race through an ethereal field of wheat,
Buoyant hearts, leaping together to finally attain their peace together…
Time will pass, but you will always be, for me, frozen in time.